Our electronics expert has determined that the earrings and engagement ring worn by Kamala Harris during the last presidential debate connected to form a radio receiver.
“It’s undeniable,” said “Rusty” Joe Barron, a guy we met on the sidewalk outside of the last Radio Shack of the Rockies, “You can tell just by looking at them. The ring is a standard ON-105F with a self-remitting oscillator fuse and the earpiece is a Damatsura G114 bi-connectable emergency wifi and closed circuit signal router. Any amateur would spot it a mile away.”
We asked the guy inside the Radio Shack, and he told us that Rusty isn’t quite sane. “He means well, but he just speaks gibberish and makes things up all day.”
Girl. Same.
The Radio Shack dude, whose name was also Rusty, said that the guy outside wasn’t really Rusty. “He pretends he’s me and gives people bad advice. Last week I caught him installing a car stereo on some kid’s Huffy.
Rusty said the ring and earrings looked like typical jewelry to him but that he wouldn’t know for sure unless someone told him.
“I don’t keep up on modern spycraft. Ask me in 40 years if I’m still alive.”
We’ll take you up on that, Rusty. God Bless America.